Dragons & Butterflies: Sentenced to Die, Choosing to Live by Krebs Shani

Author:Krebs, Shani [Krebs, Shani]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Thai, prison, Memoir, South Africa
ISBN: 9781868425761
Publisher: Jonathan Ball Publishers
Published: 2014-04-25T06:00:00+00:00

With time, I became more comfortable, realising that the Thais who crowded round every day to watch me draw actually appreciated art. In fact, their admiration for my work became inspiring to me. By now I was painting portraits for friends in different parts of the world, who, in return, were sending me art supplies.

It came to me one night in a vision that, before I would be emancipated, I would go through three levels of evolution: artistically, spiritually and as a person. I knew I had to change. I needed to redeem myself. In my mind there was still too much turmoil, however, that needed to be quieted. The battle raged on inside me.

Besides electrical appliances, money and things that were illegal, we could receive almost anything in the parcels our friends and relatives sent us. For medicines, though, you had to have a prescription. In the event that your family did send money, the officer in charge would automatically deposit it in your account. For a prisoner to have cash on him was strictly illegal. One of my friends had sent me a siddur, a Jewish prayer book. There were many reasons why I should have been praying. G-d was working miracles all around me, but I was not yet paying close attention. Although I was becoming aware that coming to prison was for my own benefit, I wasn’t yet ready to admit it. Instead I clung stubbornly to the belief that a terrible injustice had befallen me. Having convinced my family about my innocence, I started to believe it was true. In my heart I was grateful and gradually I could feel my anger beginning to subside, but I was yet to open that prayer book and pray. In my heart I remained distant from G-d and it would still be a while before I found my way back to him.

My sister Joan had a friend, Edna Ralph, who lived in Manchester in England and was affiliated with Chabad House. She had heard of my plight and, feeling compassion for my situation, initiated contact with me. Edna was deeply spiritual and she started sending me books on Judaism. In her letters she encouraged me to study and read as much as I could. I can honestly say that this was the beginning of my spiritual journey and of my renewed faith in G-d. Edna would walk around Manchester and collect money for ‘Eleazer’ (my Hebrew name), her new prisoner friend in Bangkok. She sent me £100 every month, and I have to say that the extra funds were a tremendous help and went a long way towards improving my standard of living. I also managed to purchase a lot more art supplies as a result. I was so grateful to her.

One year, the Chabad rabbi deposited 3 000 Thai baht into all the Jewish guys’ prison accounts for Purim, the Jewish festival in which it is customary to give ‘shalach manot’ (little parcels of food and fruit) and charity.

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